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5 Ways To Avoid Conflict With Parents

Since it’s Buwan ng Wika in the Philippines, I thought you might enjoy this Tagalog post by Jon Singua (There’s a translation at the bottom if you’re not a Tagalog reader). Jon is one of our GYMN grads, he’s got a great heart for youth and is himself a parent of a teen. 

Ilang paraan upang maiwasan ang problema sa pagitan ng Youth Minister at ng mga magulang… ito ay mula sa aking personal na karanasan:

1. Isipin mo na isa sa mga kabataan ng inyong simbahan ay iyong anak, mula doon ay mas madali mong mauunawaan kung ano ang hinahanap ng magulang sa kanyang anak lalo na sa mga responsibilidad nito sa loob ng tahanan na minsan ay hindi nagagawa dahil sa gawain sa simbahan.
2. Huwag agawan ng responsibilidad ang mga magulang, tayo ay pangalawang takbuhan lamang ng ating kabataan lalo na sa panahon ng kanilang problema, desisyon o ano pa mang bagay na may kinalaman sa kanilang buhay. Malaki ang tendency na sa atin lagi mag depend ang mga kabataan pero mahalaga pa din na lagi natin silang tinuturuang maging malapit sa magulang, sumunod at magtiwala.

3. Palawakin ang iyong ministry, sanayin ang sarili sa tamang pamamaraan ng pakikiharap sa mga magulang, makakabuo tayo ng maayos na communication sa mga magulang, at mas madali niyong mapag-uusapan ang magandang bagay o problema tungkol sa kanilang anak.

4. Isama sa programa ang pagbisita sa mga magulang, doon ay maaari mong ibahagi ang anumang ginagawa ng mga kabataan ng simbahan at kung ano ang layunin ng inyong samahan. Mas lalalim ang relasyon dahil gusto din ng magulang na kilala nila ang mga taong sinasamahan ng kanilang anak. Mula dito ay posibleng makapag-simula na tayo ng Bible study sa loob ng tahanan.

5. Laging ikunsidera ang araw at oras ng kabataan, magkaroon lamang ng limitasyon sa oras sa bawat gawain upang hindi naman sila magkulang sa kanilang atensyon sa kanilang pamilya, pag-aaral o trabaho. Sa taunang pagpaplano, mag-adjust ng schedule kung may gawain ang ating kabataan sa simbahan na tatapat sa mga okasyong pang pamilya tulad ng father’s day, mother’s day at iba pa na ipinagdiriwang ng lahat, mas makabubuti na tumatatag ang relasyon ng bawat pamilya dulot pagsisimba ng bawat kabataan.

Here’s the editor’s attempt at a translation:

1. Imagine that one of the young people in your church is your child. From there you can more easily understand what parents look for in their children especially with their responsibilities in their own homes that sometimes they fail to do because of what they do in church.

2. Don’t take the responsibility of the parents, we are just a secondary refuge to youth even in times when they have problems, decisions and other things related to their life. There may be a big tendency that the youth will always depend on us but it is also important that we always teach them to be close to their parents and to also follow and trust them.

3. Widen your ministry by training yourself on the proper way of relating with parents. In this way, we can have good communication with parents and it will be easier to talk of good things as well as problems about their children.

4. Include visiting parents as one of your programs. When you do so you can share the activities of the youth and the purposes of your fellowship. This will deepen your relationship with them because parents also want to know the people their child often goes with. It might even be possible for this to lead to Bible studies in some homes.

5. Always consider a youth’s time. Limit the number of hours of your activities so that they will not lack time to give attention to their family, schooling or work. In your yearly plan, adjust your schedule if your time with the youth also happens at times when they could be with their family. Examples: father’s/mother’s day and celebrations. It would be good to have these times used to strengthen family relationships.

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